ENcourage Community

And why do I ask?

Sometimes, much of your anxiety is diffused and somewhat RELEASED when you give it a voice.

Sharing and articulating the fear(s) can be therapeutic, I know!

As an example, one of my greatest concerns with panic disorder had been fear of fainting or some loss of consciousness, I think. Even more to the point, I feared any "losing control."

What do you think about?

And, by the way, Happy New Year to everyone!
Mrs. ENcourage/Pat

Hi Patti Pat Encourage!

I can make a list that would go on and on about what I fear...But to tell you the truth, after all this time, it looks as though I fear life. And I fear panic whilst moving through this life.

When I read about people "taking charge of their lives" "embrace change" "be positive" "hurry up and LIVE", well stick me with a done fork and get me a big stick so I can smack these people. What are they 5- 10% of the population? These happy happy positive Pollyanna's? Makes the rest of us feel like we're stuck in molasses.

Meh.

I fear panic. If I didn't? I'd be all set.

I like your questions, next?

Kate-y-did.

At the deepest level it's always the fear of fear (we are actually afraid of the anxiety itself).

That is also often coupled with the fear of death (I will die from this anxiety).

Learning to embrace (and deeply accept) these fears is what gets rid of them (and the anxieties that they are causing).

Exploring spirituality can help with this kind of deep acceptance.

Any kind of spirituality (as long as it is healthy and not controlling or fear-driven) will work.

I think what I really Fear is what you said Losing Control but for me its losing Control IN FRONT OF OTHERS... Despite my anxiety I am a pretty Jokey, nutty, zany sort of person who would rather laugh and make light of things than have someone FUSS over me. I truly believe that this has not helped me at all in my journey with AG.
I have just posted about my Daughters wedding in April and the mess I now find myself in because I have HIDDEN the seriousness of how AG truly affects me for so long, like you say in your wonderful compillation of this Disorder... "many manage to hide thier discomfort so effectively that others do not believe there is a real problem"... Now that bit leterally JUMPED out at me, THAT IS ME, that sums me up so perfectly "I appear to be functioning" when inside all hell has let loose and this is the thing for me that keeps it going I am convinced once "I let go in front of others" it will be easier to deal with.
Thanks Pat for Posting this.
Chrissy x

Welcome to the forum, Holly. It's pretty quiet lately, but it's full of wonderful people and advice.
I'm sorry you and your daughter are going through all this. From what you say, I guess your daughter already goes to therapy. Apart from finding a good therapist that can help her, I recommend you reading the books of Claire Weekes. They help understanding anxiety, and give you clues to deal with it. Maybe they can help both you and your daughter.

Reading info on the internet can be helpful too. I think that understanding how the body works under anxiety can be very helpful. Sharing your feelings and fears in boards like this one can be very helpful too.

Lately I've found that magnesium has a relaxing effect on me, maybe you could ask your doctor about the possibility of taking magnesium supplements.

Another thing that helped me some time ago was yoga. I know neither you nor your daughter can go to a yoga class right now, but maybe trying some videos on the internet could be helpful and entertaining.

I wish I had more advice to give you, but this is all I can think of.
I really hope things get better for you. Try to think positive, I believe positive thinking and positive staments are very powerful and help break the negative thinking circle in which most of us are in.

A hug from here.

Fear is what you dont know i mean what is behind the curtain can creat fear,and fear is also self created thing.The best way to be fear free is to jump in fear,but not in fire.

I don't know anymore. Before this recent trip / adventure, I feared alot....fear of losing control of everything but mostly losing control of myself.

Well, this trip pushed me FAR BEYOND and I do mean BEYOND my set limits and you know what, I am not scared of losing control nearly as much as before my adventure. I finally realized that losing control isn't nearly as catastrophic as I had once feared, anticipated and imagined. I lost control (just one example from my trip - think peeing in a cup in the aisle on a charter flight with no freaking restroom - not kidding - I had to go) and in doing so, I lost alot of the fear that had held me captive for so many years. It's quite ironic, maginificent, liberating and mindboggling all at once.

Doesn't mean I still don't get nervous. I still do, but it's different now somehow. I will be alright now and I realized that it's o.k. to be me and that my needs are as important as anyone else's and that people are willing to help you if you just ask or explain what you may need or what are you feeling. I could never ask for that kind of help before because then I would appear "out of control". How skewed was that way of thinking? That's how I thought. Not anymore. I crossed over some threshold and once I did, there was no going back. Seriously, once you cross it, you can't go back. I find this really exciting.

p.s. We got back from South America ( I live in So. Calif.) on March 4th. We left on Feb. 19th and in 13 days, I was on 11 different flights, quite a few buses, one subway ride, 4 days at sea on a yacht with 30 other people, a ferry ride, dinghies, train, walking, we were on the 11th, 14th and 16th floor of 2 hotels where I had to take an elevator (one of my fears - not so much now) everytime, etc. And this is the just the beginning.

~D

ETA (EDITED TO ADD) on March 9th 2010....

I want to make clear that going on this vacation or getting out there like I did does not equal an automatic cure. There is no cure, but you can recover.

I still have fears and I still get nervous. Just the other day I got nervous about having to take antibiotics for my sinusitis and was wondering if I would have a bad side effect, etc. Those thoughts are still there but they are not as strong as they were before. I think this is the difference for me since I went on that vacation. S*** happens whether or not we want it to.

I urge you to get out there once in a while and just push your boundaries a little bit. You'd be suprised at how capable you are at handling things when given the opportunity. It's like that Door's song..... Break on Through to the Other Side.

Dawn, that's fantastic! Inspirational... My daughter has been doing similar things to your trip - in Mexico, and South America - she'll be back in two days. I asked her if i could do it all with her next time - now she knows what to do and where to go.

Great to read others posts too.

It's true, Pat, it seems to diffuse the power of the beast, to express what its about.

This evening my brother asked me if a panic attack is like an epileptic fit....!!
Thinking about it now, i guess that's kind of the fear for me, that i will lose complete control of myself - as a person who's having a seizure does. Of course they're completely different though.

I guess i fear losing control of my mind. With epilepsy it's crap, but at least a sufferer doesn't have to deal with that fear.

I fear everything..getting hit by a train, a car, going crazy in public, getting a bloody nose, worse yet losing control of my bladder..making a fool of myself, doing something so irreversibly wrong I will be thrown away. I fear being alone, not being alone, I fear everything..and I fear I can't do this on my own.