Posted by Kate_1 on April 23, 2008 at 06:29:37:

In Reply to: Searching For The Answers.......... posted by Maria79 on April 22, 2008 at 22:36:31:

Welcome to the board. Your post touched me a great deal, I will try to respond as best I can.

What's good about a message board is it providing anonymity - so that can assage your fears about being judged. We've all felt that, we lurked on the board for weeks, then tentavily posted, and so on. It took a lot of courage to post, congrats to you.

You are asking why, after all you've done, are you not better. If you are anything like me - when I am down about this Panic Disorder I cannot see my accomplishments, all I see is a black hole of failures. But the accomplishments (if that is what the actual word is) are there.

You are trying Maria - that is a lot of good work! Your son isn't judging you either. He loves you as you are, he's 5!

If you want to try to do more things with him, then let that be a positive thing. Heck you can even make a game out of it for him. My friend Sylvie (also with PD) used to play "let's drive around game" with the 3 kids, but her goal was, let say, to make it for to the ice cream place - she didn't tell that to the kids. She'd "practice" each day, then lo and behold she got there and the kids got a big suprise! When they are young it works :)

One step at a time - worrying and berating ourselves serves no purpose but to pull us down. I know everyday things are difficult for us at times, but it's our day, and our things, so let's try to live it as best we can.

Thank you for posting - I have a feeling about you, I have a feeling you will be doing grand things!

Kate