 Hi Patrick and welcome.....
Posted by chrissy on April 09, 2008 at 14:56:41: In Reply to: My story posted by Sci470 on April 07, 2008 at 16:02:16: Your story sounds so familiar to my own. I was 21 when I had my first panic attack but had always struggled through my teenage years with some anxiety issues. I guess becoming a young mum with very little support and not having a very good relationship was the catalyst towards my first attack. I too went down the Medication path, but felt like a walking zombie and I felt stifled and just didn't function well and this was not good with a small child to look after, as you know you have to have your wits about you ;O) I also went cold turkey and ended up in a terrible place which then resulted in my developing a Phobia about taking medication (any medication even painkillers, cough medicine,the basics) I struggled on and pushed myself to make the most of life and went onto to have 2 more children (all girls)but my life was restricted and very stressful, the anxiety and worry that accompanies Panic ( always on my gaurd) can be unbearable as I am sure you know. My life became like a military operation, I developed OCD, a fear of "Anything" that provoked the slightest "Change" in my body/surroundings and the thoughts I grappled with on a daily basis became too much and I had a complete nervous breakdown.... What you wrote here..... *I went into a three-day emotional tailspin in my bedroom from anger to sadness to rage. (I was 26 years old)* I did the exact same thing - I locked myself away for 3 days and I have to say its the worst thing I have ever experienced, no let up from the panic, the physical sympotoms, the thoughts in my head and the feelings of numbness, I was in the Abyss...thats the only way I can describe this experience, split off, disconnected, I felt nothing emotionally except terror and when I finally got to see a doctor I vowed to myself that I would do anything to AVOID going back into that place again.... That is how I became Agoraphobic!!! Now 9 years on I have to admit I am still not living the life I "deserve" but I am working on it... I ended a very unhappy marriage. I have had a tough time - I am 48 (young at heart) but ever hopeful that one day soon I can live the life I deserve,the life we all deserve you just have to keep going, keep learning, keep trying I guess.
Really appreciate you writing your story Patrick hope you stick around and spread a little bit more positivity. Hugs,    
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