ENcourage Connection

I'm moving and the place I am moving to is out of my comfort zone. Yep... anxiety!

My question is this:

Whenever I've "successfully" gone out of my comfort zone (especially during a move), once I'm there I'm comfortable. Then on the way back, I start to feel very anxious, almost panicky, when coming back to what is my present comfort zone. So going back and forth between the old place and the new one makes me very anxious.

For instance... today I went to sign the lease at the new place and I had trouble leaving the house here just to go there. Once there, I was comfortable and didn't want to come back here, and I got anxious as I did get back here. I just wish I could blink my eyes or twitch my nose or something and make all my stuff just be there now.

Has this happened to anyone else? Can anyone else relate?

I've mentioned this to therapists who have worked with me with the agoraphobia and none of them have ever understood it, and it's happening to me again now, so I thought I'd post here and ask.

Robyn

• Thank you.... 09:51:55 09/17/2009 Why (0)
• Yes... The transition between the two. Juggling the past with the present and feeling caught in between and groundless. (n/t) 21:31:30 09/09/2009 Debbie IN California (0)
• Hi Robyn 13:30:46 09/09/2009 Anna Banana (0)
• I think... 05:59:24 09/09/2009 Kate_1 (0)
• Just a possible idea... 20:47:51 09/07/2009 Pat at ENcourage (0)
• Re: Moving - a question for everyone.... 17:20:56 09/07/2009 meg (0)

In Reply to: Moving - a question for everyone.... posted by Why on September 07, 2009 at 17:03:06:

Thank you Meg, Pat, Kate, Anna and Debbie for responding to my post. Sorry I have not been able to reply until today. I just wanted to say thank you and I'll post more above.

Robyn

In Reply to: Moving - a question for everyone.... posted by Why on September 07, 2009 at 17:03:06:

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In Reply to: Moving - a question for everyone.... posted by Why on September 07, 2009 at 17:03:06:

I'm not sure, but I think that places are linked to anxiety in our minds. I mean, if you've had anxiety in a place, going back there brings anxiety. At home, despite how safe and comfy we feel there, we do feel anxiety (because it's the place where we spend more time, and we worry most of the time, so... lol). So your old place has lots of emotions for you (I think Pat has explained this lots better than me, but anyway).

The new place is still "clean", and even though it feels scary to go there leaving your old home behind, there are expectations, hopes, maybe even resolutions, so somehow it feels "fresher".

Maybe I'm wrong, but this is what I believe to be the reason. In any case, it's good that you felt so comfortable in the new place. I believe you'll be lots better there.

Una abraçadaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa,

Anna

In Reply to: Moving - a question for everyone.... posted by Why on September 07, 2009 at 17:03:06:

...It's like a trapeze artist. You are attached to one trapeze, swinging baaaaack and foooorrrth, baaaaack and fooooorth then you must grab on to the new trapeze. The new trapeze will take you to the other side. It's impossible to hang on to both trapeze at the same time - your arms will not hold and you will fall.

A choice has to be made - and there is no choice - you must move to the other trapeze (apartment) so you let go of the old one.

Happens every time I move as well.

Agoraphobia, in its infancy, by definition, is: Inability to leave a secure place or person.

Not "many secure places and dozens of people".

So you've latched on to the new trapeze. :)

High five missy.

In Reply to: Moving - a question for everyone.... posted by Why on September 07, 2009 at 17:03:06:

Hi, Robyn! I thought I'd throw in a couple o' cents, too, though it has been a long time since I moved! :)

One thing that occurs to me is that (maybe!) the "old" place is now the place that brings up a lot of emotion, and therefore makes you feel anxious. Because we tend to say, "there's no reason to be anxious," sometimes we overlook emotions that need expression. Holding that in, of course, makes us anxious.

In other words, if you have any sadness about leaving, or anger, etc., that may be an energy that provokes anxiety. On the other end, the new place holds no strong connections for you and there is a sense of looking forward to your future there; your mind is filled with the practicalities and even excitement of where to place furniture, how you'll make things look, etc.

Not sure if this is fitting for you, but that's something to consider?

Hope you end up having an enjoyable process!!!!!!

Hugs as always,
Pat

In Reply to: Moving - a question for everyone.... posted by Why on September 07, 2009 at 17:03:06:

It reminds me a bit of when...
bare with my fuzzy brain here...
but sometimes when I'm doing too much, I think that will trigger anxiety...but in reality, doing nothing brings it on.

I know it isn't really the same, but it speaks to the OPPOSITE of what we think is going to happen. It is almost as if we anticipate the worst going to the new place, and the panic get delayed, sits and waits, and strikes when we are returning to the safe place.
I don't think it is necessarily the moment to moment reality when you are actually in a place, but the transition that leads to the panic...I think in the transition we think, "Oh my God, what have I done", as if a part of us can't believe we can actually go from one place to another. It seems to be a part of us that has a tenacious grip...and I think in this case it is more psychological than physiological.
I don't know if this makes sense. I need to read what i wrote!
I hope this new place is beautiful Robyn. You have worked hard and have come such a long way. You deserve the greatest things.