ENcourage Connection

Hi,

I'm leaving to Ireland next Thursday, and anxiety is already here.

I don't know if this happens to you too, but when I'm scared I start having weird thoughts and imaginations, and they're quite disturbing.

In this case, I can't stop imagining my mother's reaction in case the aeroplane had an accident and I died (and here I have to touch wood, it's OCD). I imagine the moment she finds out, life afterwards, etc. I also imagine how my workmates would find out, their reactions, while I'm writing this I can't help imagining the people on this board who would have read this today, finding out about the accident on Thursday and thinking that I was in fact "smelling" something. It's crazy!

It's crazy and I know that the more importance I give to these thoughts the stronger they will get, but they are already quite strong. I also know that I should focus on the great fun we'll have in Ireland, and on all the positive, but the fear does always win.

Does this happen to you, too? these weird thoughts and imaginations? maybe I'm just nuts.

Then I also have "nice" thoughts apart from the plane: my boyfriend or me catching the swine flu ir Ireland, or anything happening to him in Ireland, well, lots of things, my imagination has no limits it seems.

Oh well, I needed to vent. I'm taking the laptop with me so I'll probably write from Ireland to say that I'm fine.

Thanks for reading :-)

Anna

• Thank you 12:02:02 09/02/2009 Anna Banana (0)
• Anna, I was in the ER just a few days before Hawaii. Pushed myself to go, and had a wonderful time. You will too. : ) (n/t) 12:29:37 09/01/2009 Debbie IN California (0)
• Hola Anna..... 09:05:34 08/31/2009 Why (0)
• Re: Anticipatory anxiety before holidays 09:04:20 08/31/2009 Vita Luna (1)
  • Also wanted to add.... 15:48:39 08/31/2009 Vita Luna (0)

In Reply to: Anticipatory anxiety before holidays posted by Anna Banana on August 31, 2009 at 07:45:56:

Thank you all for your support. I'm leaving tomorrow and right now I'm *really* nervous and hyperactive, but somehow in a positive way. I'm trying to think positive and to enjoy all this.
I've found out that we may not have wi-fi service in the place where I'm staying, so I may not come online until I come back.
In any case, thank you for your support, and I'll write as soon as I come back.

Hugs!

Anna

In Reply to: Anticipatory anxiety before holidays posted by Anna Banana on August 31, 2009 at 07:45:56:

(no text)

In Reply to: Anticipatory anxiety before holidays posted by Anna Banana on August 31, 2009 at 07:45:56:

Hola Anna,

I think it's normal when you have anxiety and some OCD to have thoughts that won't stop, and worries. I don't have OCD so I'm not sure exactly what you go through, but I am very familiar with anticipatory anxiety and the fear wins, yes... but only until we see that we are okay and have done the thing that we were afraid to do.

Is there anything that helps, like trying to distract yourself from thinking the worst things? Playing a video game, or walking and exercising a little, or yoga and meditation?

It's good that you're bringing your laptop so you can write and let us know that you're there, safe and sound, and that you're having a wonderful time. I'm imagining you there in that beautiful green place, feeling so peaceful so happy there, and feeling so glad that you went despite the fear that you had before you went. I'm imaging all good things for you and sending you lots of good energy. Somethign tells me you'll be okay... more than okay... you'll be happy you did it.

I wish I could say something more helpful. Just please know that I'm here if you want to talk, or I have skype too if you want to do that.

Una abracadaaaaaaaaaaaaaa molt forta!!!!!!!

Vagi bé!

Robyn

In Reply to: Anticipatory anxiety before holidays posted by Anna Banana on August 31, 2009 at 07:45:56:

Ola Anna,

It's just part of the whole anxiety thing. Just remind yourself that this is just the anxiety talking and let it go from there. Easier said than done, I know. And don't forget that when these irrational thoughts start to come, do that Alphabet exercise I told you about. Remember... start with the letter A and think of one word that starts with an A. Then go the B and think of one word that with a B and then go to C and so on. Do the whole alphabet. Repeat again and again and again if necessary. Eventually the obsessive thoughts will subside.

I wanted to let you know that you are not alone in these kinds of thoughts.

Hugs,
Dawn

In Reply to: Re: Anticipatory anxiety before holidays posted by Vita Luna on August 31, 2009 at 09:04:20:

Just as we can scare ourselves with our thoughts, we can also sooth, comfort and nuture ourselves.

That little affirmation helps me also when my thoughts become dark and obsessive.

Dont'cha just love anxiety???? ;0