ENcourage Connection

The 22nd, my day to post.
Posted by Kate_1 on April 22, 2009 at 07:03:35:

~~~The Lizard~~~

4am. I had a meeting with my brain at 4am. 4. In the morning. I always wondered if 4am was an actual time, if it existed, apparently it does. Well la ti da, there I am wide awake and not much company to myself.

I could be thinking about why I'm awake, what to eat for breakfast later or start to read but noooooo, my brain is, as most things that early, slow and surly. It decides my body is physically tired and vulnerable, so the primal part of it kicks in, the nerve part. The Reptilian part. I'm not making that up, it is called the Reptilian part of the brain - the Lizard if you will.

Now as Lizards go, mine wears Jimmy Choo, but still, it ought to drop dead at 4 am don't you think?

Naw, Lizard starts up and wants me to worry. It invents scenarios where I am obviously the loser, it makes for spectacular mind viewing at just how many things it can muster up to make me panic. Of course, bien sūre, these Lizard thoughts are catastrophic, exponentially horrendous and no one can really blame it for trying it's best at a production worthy of a Hollywood B movie with special effects.

Frankly, HBO ought to accept my text messages at 4am, I'd make them even richer.

Now, Lizard being a quick tongued reptile, ran the gammit by 4:05am (again a time that ACTUALLY exists) but you think I was able to sleep after such a whiplash? Well no. The nerve system was up and running, so the scenarios varied, I started worrying about things you can't even invent.

Then I thought, well this ought to make for a good post on my day. See positive spin? (rolls eyes!)

It's not easy to stop these thoughts, or watch them just go by when our bodies are so tired, but it also isn't our fault that they exist. I just wanted to remind myself and you. We are not THAT negative people, it's the rutted road of the nervous system and tired brain that CANNOT make up new stuff so it returns to the primal fear, the adrenaline core. It just doesn't know any better. And it is mathematically impossible that everything bad under the sun WILL happen to us. It's just impossible.

I am not going to die, have a heart attack, be poor, catch a deadly disease, be alone, look like a fool, catch fire, run screaming from a room, climb out of a window of a moving car to get away from traffic, make my friends all hate me at the same exact time, ALL INSIDE of 5 minutes. Nor this decade. Nor a lifetime. It's just impossible.

The Lizard, albeit well shod, can bite me.

• You have such a great mind Kate. (n/t) 18:22:17 08/12/2009 meg (1)
  • Aww, thanks Meg! (I'm all shy now... :) Good day to you madame :) (n/t) 04:37:40 08/15/2009 Kate_1 (0)
• When I read this, previously, I was not in the "Lizard Sate of Mind. NOW, It is True Food For Thought. (n/t) 13:53:51 08/12/2009 Debbie IN California (0)

In Reply to: I posted this a while back...The Lizard.... posted by Kate_1 on August 12, 2009 at 12:19:29:

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In Reply to: You have such a great mind Kate. (n/t) posted by meg on August 12, 2009 at 18:22:17:

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In Reply to: I posted this a while back...The Lizard.... posted by Kate_1 on August 12, 2009 at 12:19:29:

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