ENcourage Connection

Posted by Debbie IN California on August 11, 2009 at 22:25:36:

I related so much to Meg's word, that she used in the post below, that I am going to borrow it from Meg for a bit.

In a couple weeks I will be going to Hawaii. And I am noticing as the days draw closer I am *catastrophizing*.

When I was in the Dominican Republic, over the Christmas/ New Year Holidays, I accidently ate soy in *peanut butter*, and had an awful reaction that scared both my husband and I to the point of us now checking, and rechecking all food labels.

If I eat food that is not prepared by me, I now start mentally scanning my body for *any* soy reactions. Us going out to eat has stopped. It's crazy how this can totally freak me out.

We have called the hotel that we are going to be staying at in Hawaii, and even the place where we will be attending a luau, to see if they have any soy in their foods, or even cook with soy oil. I can't find any peace in their promises to me that there will be no soy.
(When I was in the hospital, in May, they *accidently* gave me a fruit drink that I just happen to know had soy in it.
AND THAT WAS IN A HOSPITAL.

I am seriously thinking of bring my own food into the restaurants, even if I have to pay for a meal that I would not be eating. Or ask only for fresh fruits, and veggies. Not cooked.

I have my Epi-Pen, and my quick dissolve Benadryl strips that I carry with me, but the Benadryl makes me feel totally *unreal*, and that's my *Major* panic trigger. The Epi-Pen is in a child's dosage, as I am extremely hyper-sensitive to Epinephrine.

Just the thought of what happened to me in the D.R. is enough to push me towards panic. I don't want that to be repeated ever again.

Been listening to a lot of Pema the last few days, about being *Ok*, and at *Peace* when there is no ground under our feet.
Stepping Out blindfolded into the dark.

It's a lot for me to take in, in such a short period of time.

So here I am.......... Catastrophizing.

Need some *support* please.

• You are right...venting helps....it diminishes its power I think...keep venting! (n/t) 18:17:08 08/12/2009 meg (0)
• Re: Catastrophizing.... (Meg's word) This is what I am doing.... 18:15:05 08/12/2009 meg (1)
  • Thanks Meg. I am *Now* feeling more empowered, and less fearful. (The tag-team, ENcourage Group really helped.) (n/t) 15:13:06 08/13/2009 Debbie IN California (0)
• Ugh, hate those times...(more) 08:01:58 08/12/2009 Kate_1 (4)
  • Thank You.... That was *Truly* helpful. The Dramatic *Victorian Swoon*, actually brought a funny scene to my mind. (n/t) 08:44:06 08/12/2009 Debbie IN California (3)
    • Tell me more about..... "The reptilian part of the brain / with prehistoric imprints" (n/t) 10:50:46 08/12/2009 Debbie IN California (2)
      • Reptilian brain.... 12:16:59 08/12/2009 Kate_1 (1)
        • Sympathetic/ Parasympathetic, Oh Yea, learned about this in nursing school. (Kill the Lizard, or at least "Stop Feeding it". I *Now* Understand. (n/t) 13:38:22 08/12/2009 Debbie IN California (0)
• Hi Debbie - 07:08:39 08/12/2009 firedancer (8)
  • Thank You Jill. And thanks for the idea of the chef cards on the FAAN website. And yes venting is helping. ; ) (n/t) 08:48:58 08/12/2009 Debbie IN California (7)
    • Jill... I must be overlooking the FAAN Chef Cards. Could you redirect me? .... (m) 10:45:50 08/12/2009 Debbie IN California (6)
      • Sure thing, I sent you an email with the link (m)..... 11:56:49 08/12/2009 firedancer (5)
        • Thank you Again. ...... (m) 13:47:19 08/12/2009 Debbie IN California (4)
          • Here is the Link, in case others might wish to use this. VERY HELPFUL. 14:17:40 08/12/2009 Debbie IN California (3)
            • So I sent that link over to my husband at his work, for him to look at and.....(m) 17:35:23 08/12/2009 Debbie IN California (2)
              • Your husband is fantatic! (m) 04:06:11 08/13/2009 firedancer (1)
                • Yep, He is *Amazing*. The kindest man I know. Not just to me, but all. (n/t) 15:19:18 08/13/2009 Debbie IN California (0)
• Debbie.... 00:59:08 08/12/2009 KerryAnne In Tassie (1)
  • Thanks Kerry. If I stick with food in their natural wrappers, like fruits I'll be good to go....(m) 09:07:31 08/12/2009 Debbie IN California (0)
• That does sound challenging.... 23:05:58 08/11/2009 Pat at ENcourage (1)
  • Good Point, It is more like Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder..... (m) 09:30:50 08/12/2009 Debbie IN California (0)

Posted by meg on August 12, 2009 at 18:17:08:

In Reply to: Catastrophizing.... (Meg's word) This is what I am doing.... posted by Debbie IN California on August 11, 2009 at 22:25:36:

(no text)

Posted by meg on August 12, 2009 at 18:15:05:

In Reply to: Catastrophizing.... (Meg's word) This is what I am doing.... posted by Debbie IN California on August 11, 2009 at 22:25:36:

Hi Debbie,
First of all....good for you that you are going to such a beautiful place.
I think you are taking all the necessary steps to insure your safety. When you get there...even if they have already told you...check with them again. Don't worry about bothering them.
You seem to be taking all the necessary steps.
Maybe you can try writing down all of the things that you mentioned in your post and all of the steps you have taken to eliminate the potential for problems.
It seems as if you have gotten loads of advice so far.

Have a wonderful trip.

Posted by Debbie IN California on August 13, 2009 at 15:13:06:

In Reply to: Re: Catastrophizing.... (Meg's word) This is what I am doing.... posted by meg on August 12, 2009 at 18:15:05:

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Posted by Kate_1 on August 12, 2009 at 08:01:58:

In Reply to: Catastrophizing.... (Meg's word) This is what I am doing.... posted by Debbie IN California on August 11, 2009 at 22:25:36:

Here's my two cents.

You are in a lovely fresh food rich, still in the US, environment, not a third world country this time. You are aware now of your soy issue. As soon as your feet touch the hotel, go food shopping. You wouldn't think twice about doing this for your child right? Bring your own food, then pick and choose from their buffet to add to your own. Their fruit and veggies will be fine, so purchase your protein and ready made rice - it'll be fun and creative. No shame in that.

Also? Slow down. Easy to say, but it's worth a try. The panicky mind has already seen yourself eating soy, reacting to soy, taking the epinephrine and benadryl while you breathe your last breath in a dramatic Victorian swoon right there at the luau :)

Catastrophizing is what we do best when the thoughts take over. Your mind wants to regale you with the DR experience but "worse"...The reptilian part of the brain is just a silly Lizard with prehistoric imprints, it can't even drive to the airport.

Good luck.

Posted by Debbie IN California on August 12, 2009 at 08:44:06:

In Reply to: Ugh, hate those times...(more) posted by Kate_1 on August 12, 2009 at 08:01:58:

(no text)

Posted by Debbie IN California on August 12, 2009 at 10:50:46:

In Reply to: Thank You.... That was *Truly* helpful. The Dramatic *Victorian Swoon*, actually brought a funny scene to my mind. (n/t) posted by Debbie IN California on August 12, 2009 at 08:44:06:

(no text)

Posted by Kate_1 on August 12, 2009 at 12:16:59:

In Reply to: Tell me more about..... "The reptilian part of the brain / with prehistoric imprints" (n/t) posted by Debbie IN California on August 12, 2009 at 10:50:46:

The human brain is divided into parts, and there is one, the oldest most primitive part called the reptilian brain - that's its real name.

You're nervous system has two basic components - but when one is on the other is off. The first being well known to us, the flight or fight (sympathetic) system - it activates all sorts of wonderful physical mechanisms - even obsessive thoughts. The other is the "rest relaxation"(parasympathetic) nervous system - it kicks in when you feel safe.

The Lizard brain, as I call it, assumes you're experiencing some sort of disaster (soy allergy), it switches on big time. And it being a Lizard, it isn't very smart, it is a primitive being that cannot be reasoned with explanations. Imagine explaining to a Neanderthal Caveperson how to get email, he or she will only bop you over the head and eat you. :)

It only knows two things, run or fight, it doesn't even have thoughts attached to it. Obsessive thoughts are the rest of the brain trying to manage why it should make the legs flee. The Lizard doesn't care about anything else. It trains us to avoid, flee, over-rationalize...So a Lizard is training us. Doesn't that piss you off?

So it is switched on - feed it nothing and it will be dormant - like a snake that hibernates to shed its skin - ew.

Posted by Debbie IN California on August 12, 2009 at 13:38:22:

In Reply to: Reptilian brain.... posted by Kate_1 on August 12, 2009 at 12:16:59:

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Posted by firedancer on August 12, 2009 at 07:08:39:

In Reply to: Catastrophizing.... (Meg's word) This is what I am doing.... posted by Debbie IN California on August 11, 2009 at 22:25:36:

It's so hard not to overthink things and think the worse. I think that's my hardest thing to overcome.

It's natural to think what if, especially in this situation because it's not like you can say "so what if this has soy".

Are there any foods that you know would never have soy? Although it is so hard to say never because you just never know. Okay I'm not helping your thoughts.

I would either stick with foods you know most likely do not contain soy, eggs, fresh fruit, steamed veggies, pasta (?)

My son has severe food allergies and we avoid restaurants becasue I'm just not comfortable at all. If we do go somewhere I bring his own food.

Maybe what you could do is bring your own food with you to the restaurant as a back up. You could talk to the manager (I wouldn't recommend the waiter) and get a feel if they can meet your needs. You could get a feeling of what they are thinking and go from there.

Living with food allergies is so difficult. And soy is especially difficult because that seems to be in everything! If you look on the FAAN website they have chef cards that you can print out explaining your allergy clearly too.

I think talking about it usually helps with your fears instead of keeping them bottled up inside.

Well I'm rambling now...not sure if I helped but do know that I know what you are going through and how difficult it is.

(HUGS!)
Jill

Posted by Debbie IN California on August 12, 2009 at 08:48:58:

In Reply to: Hi Debbie - posted by firedancer on August 12, 2009 at 07:08:39:

(no text)

Posted by Debbie IN California on August 12, 2009 at 10:45:50:

In Reply to: Thank You Jill. And thanks for the idea of the chef cards on the FAAN website. And yes venting is helping. ; ) (n/t) posted by Debbie IN California on August 12, 2009 at 08:48:58:

Or maybe it's right under my nose. Of course my eyes went directly to the *REACTION*, and I focused on *that*.

One thing they posted certainly holds painfully true.

Quote:
"Just because a product was safe the last time you purchased it doesn’t mean the ingredients have stayed the same! It is very important to read all labels all of the time."
Unquote

As you already know, I have recently had the *surprise* of finding the above statement to be true. So, just when you think you are safe with certain types or brands of foods... they change their ingredients, and don't alert the consumer other than their regular labeling that's hiding on the back? What a hardship it is to have to read *each and every* label, time after time after time on EVERYTHING that you eat.

I KNOW you are feeling the frustration in having to do this, just like I am.

There should be some type of requirement with food manufactures that they post "Ingredients changes" on their front label.

Posted by firedancer on August 12, 2009 at 11:56:49:

In Reply to: Jill... I must be overlooking the FAAN Chef Cards. Could you redirect me? .... (m) posted by Debbie IN California on August 12, 2009 at 10:45:50:

I believe that FAAN does alerts to alert you if food has been recalled due to undeclared allergens. I'm getting it now and thankfully there are not that many that come through. If something comes along with SOY, I'll be sure to send it your way.

I'm good about reading labels but not on the staple items that I buy. Every now and then, I'll recheck but your experience is a classic example of what can happen. I know I need to be more diligent.

I agree that manufacturers should be required to indicate that there are changes in the ingredients.

Oh yeah, isn't it funny how our eyes clue in right to reaction area and then we are consumed in it. I think these websites are great for information but I know sometimes I have to steer clear if I'm feeling overly sensitive.

Posted by Debbie IN California on August 12, 2009 at 13:47:19:

In Reply to: Sure thing, I sent you an email with the link (m)..... posted by firedancer on August 12, 2009 at 11:56:49:

There is no such thing as a *quick* trip to the grocery store any more.

Scott is the faster of the two of us when it comes to reading labels. About twice as fast as I am. I head for the produce... he goes for the stuff that come in boxes, and starts his reading.
Bless his heart.
I don't know WHY he puts up with me.
I am such a pain in the rump.
Sometimes I feel so guilty. : ( Poor guy.

Posted by Debbie IN California on August 12, 2009 at 14:17:40:

In Reply to: Thank you Again. ...... (m) posted by Debbie IN California on August 12, 2009 at 13:47:19:

The Food Allergy & Anaphylaxis Network | Chef Card Template.

This is an interactive PDF that will allow you to type your allergens directly onto the chef card.

http://www.foodallergy.org/downloads/ChefCard_Interactive.pdf

Link Below. (I hope)

• Chef Card.... Click Here

Posted by Debbie IN California on August 12, 2009 at 17:35:23:

In Reply to: Here is the Link, in case others might wish to use this. VERY HELPFUL. posted by Debbie IN California on August 12, 2009 at 14:17:40:

He filled in all the *blanks*. Made 30 copies. And came home with 30 laminated cards.

He wanted me to "Thank You" for him.

(I think the event in the D.R. was more disturbing to him than it was to me. I bet we *both* have Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.)

Posted by firedancer on August 13, 2009 at 04:06:11:

In Reply to: So I sent that link over to my husband at his work, for him to look at and.....(m) posted by Debbie IN California on August 12, 2009 at 17:35:23:

It's pretty obvious that he loves you very much and doesn't want you to see it happen again.

Posted by Debbie IN California on August 13, 2009 at 15:19:18:

In Reply to: Your husband is fantatic! (m) posted by firedancer on August 13, 2009 at 04:06:11:

(no text)

Posted by KerryAnne In Tassie on August 12, 2009 at 00:59:08:

In Reply to: Catastrophizing.... (Meg's word) This is what I am doing.... posted by Debbie IN California on August 11, 2009 at 22:25:36:

would there be any markets or fresh fruit/veg deli's where you can buy some when you get there? I imagine there would be a fridge in your aparrment where you can keep your food fresh? When John and I travel I always buy fresh food and keep it in a fridge in the apartment or in a mini fridge/freezer we take in our car. John is allerrgic to a lot of food because of the tic virus he has in his system...after he contracted it over 20 years ago he developed a lot of allergies to food. I am always checking food packages, tinned food etc.

I know it will probably be an inconvenience for you...but I guess I've got used to doing all this after 20 years it comes as second nature these days.

Like you I have a fear of anything that has adrenaline in it because for me it's an instant trigger for panic attacks. When we first moved to Tassie my biggest fear was European whasps and tics and leeches and also jack jumpers as some people down here have died from them. It wasn't exactly the bite...it was worrying if I might be allergic to them. Fortunately I've been bitten by all of them since moving here and I've never had an allergic reaction.

I try not to catastropize...lets face it....this is a reality for us and I always have some kind of "plan of attack" in mind.....just in case.
I hope you have a wonderfull trip...wow Hawaii now that's a place a woulod love to visit....besides Bora Bora lol :)
Hugs, Kerry

Posted by Debbie IN California on August 12, 2009 at 09:07:31:

In Reply to: Debbie.... posted by KerryAnne In Tassie on August 12, 2009 at 00:59:08:

To compound the situation.
I am a strict vegetarian, and bloody well developed the allergy from OD'ing on Soy when I was a *Vegan* for three years.
*Soy Overload* to the max.

I had to drop the Vegan lifestyle and just stick with vegetarian. Couldn't get enough protein in my diet without soy. But if I eat eggs, milk, cheese, the animals have to be Range Free at a local farm.
That's not to difficult to locate, as more and more people are requiring this.

You heard the old saying "No Good Deed Goes Unpunished".
The *ONLY* reason I am a vegetarian is in a "lifestyle protect" to the way animals are inhumanly treated.

Well, actually there is a second *ONLY*... I love animals. : )

Posted by Pat at ENcourage on August 11, 2009 at 23:05:58:

In Reply to: Catastrophizing.... (Meg's word) This is what I am doing.... posted by Debbie IN California on August 11, 2009 at 22:25:36:

Sorry you have to deal with such a tricky allergy situation! It doesn't seem in any way odd to me to consider having your own foods, etc. It's unfortunate, but sensible when you need to use such caution.

Just a thought... I wonder if you would be helped by a good hypnotic suggestion (good therapist) that would help you with the ruminating about possible negative reactions? Or even EMDR? I liken it to post-traumatic stress disorder in which you had an experience that causes more stress in anticipation.

(Of course, panic attacks are like that, too. The difference is that the attacks themselves are not life-threatening, etc.)

Seems to me that having a safe food supply with you is "normal!" :)

Keep us posted?

Pat

Posted by Debbie IN California on August 12, 2009 at 09:30:50:

In Reply to: That does sound challenging.... posted by Pat at ENcourage on August 11, 2009 at 23:05:58:

I never thought of it that way, but it resinates with me. Had I not had that awful experience in D. R., I am quite certain I wouldn't be over-thinking, worrying, and would instead be planning around the food allergy, instead of trying to plan around "the thought".

And yes, I totally agree with you on the PSD following in the wake of panic attacks. I think, rather I know, that is where my agoraphobia was formed. Once the PSD was resolved the agoraphobia left.

Where, oh where, do you locate a *Good* therapist ????
Seems like you have to go through dozens before you find "the one".

I am acutely aware of their body language, eyes, and their level of attentiveness. I get rather tired of hearing myself over and over again as I "tell my story" in search of that *good therapist*. And most of the time I can sort through, to the solution, before my appointment arrives.

I had two *great* therapist in AZ, and they were most helpful, but I'm not in AZ any more. : O

Thank you Pat.