ENcourage Connection

Hi,

I'm having a little mind-trouble or whatever you can call it when you really don't have a problem but it seems as if you do all you can to worry.

The thing is, I no longer suffer from agoraphobia, but I have OCD and some GAD. Also I'm having lots of stress in my job this summer and it increases racy thoughts, obsessions, etc.

On September I'll be on holidays, and some months ago me and my boyfriend planned on going to Ireland for some days. We're in Spain so it's only a 2 hours flight, could be even less. I feel very attracted to Ireland, I've been wanting to visit it for a long time, I've even found a nice place to stay there, but... I'm *really* afraid of flying.

I've travelled by aeroplane before, and even though it's always been pretty scary for me, once in the plane it gets better (you know the anticipation thing). But... is it me or there are a lot of aeroplanes crashing lately?? one year ago an aeroplane crashed in Spain, and well, that feels so close. At least once a month I have a recurring nightmare in which I'm flying by plane and then I just know that it's going to fall and just before crashing I wake up.

And (this is the stupidest thing of all) the other day I searched for info on the internet. We plan on getting tickets from a low cost company, very very low tickets. I searched for the reason why these companies can offer such low prices. And I found a page that seemed to be written by someone who worked in one of these companies, and boy, it said so many scary things!

Apart from all that, my boyfriend suffers from a condition that makes him pretty weak to a lot of things. Last time we caught a plane he felt quite sick until an hour or so after having landed. He's asked his doctor and he's said that he can travel without any problems, but still... you know how easy it is to worry, right? So I know I'll be worrying about the plane crashing and my boyfriend dying or something like that.

I've already talked to him about my fears and he *really* wants to go and thinks that once in the plane I'll be alright. I really want to go too, but I'm afraid. I don't know what to do. I'll hate myself if I stay here, but I'm afraid the worry is going to be too much. I'm already feeling as if I were going to die on September if I travel by plane, so I'm not even looking forward to having holidays! argh.

Any advice?

Thanks a lot in advance, and I wish you all a happy anxiety-free day :-)

Anna

• Thanks 06:00:37 07/30/2009 Anna Banana (0)
• Anna..... (m) 18:59:10 07/29/2009 Debbie IN California (1)
  • Continued.... (m) 12:43:54 07/31/2009 Debbie IN California (0)
• Re: Fear of flying 17:05:18 07/26/2009 meg (0)
• Re: Fear of flying 13:12:55 07/24/2009 Joyce (2)
  • Joyce.... Scott and I are taking our two grandkids to Hawaii in August. Come with us. - I am going to do a different type of flying. ZIP-lining down a mountain in Hawaii. : O (n/t) 18:39:15 07/29/2009 Debbie IN California (1)
    • Thanks but NO THANKS!!!!!! Hope all of you have a wonderful time and tell me all about the beauty I missed!!! KEEP ON KEEPIN ON!!!! (n/t) 19:35:51 08/03/2009 Joyce (0)
• Hey Anna.... 09:00:36 07/23/2009 KerryAnne In Tassie (0)

In Reply to: Fear of flying posted by Anna Banana on July 22, 2009 at 10:23:56:

Thanks everybody for your replies, I'll answer in more detail this weekend (during the week it's just too hectic to find the time). Thanks Meg and Judy too for the reply above! :-)

In Reply to: Fear of flying posted by Anna Banana on July 22, 2009 at 10:23:56:

My computer is going to run out of battery juice soon, so I might need to continue later. I'll see how far I get with this.

I was (in remission) from panic attacks for a number of years, and then one day BAM it just hit me between the eyes like a cow going through your car windshield.

During that time period, my husband, needed to go to Las Vegas and wanted me to go with him. I was freaking out over the thought. Drama Queens do everything BIG, and that includes panic attacks. (long story on that one)

Preparation was the *KEY* in getting me on the plane, and staying on the plane without someone having to call security.

I visualized being on the plane and just staying with whatever I was feeling without doing all the "What If's". I allowed the emotions to flow in and through me, and I didn't fight against them. I didn't add or subtract to what I was feeling, or try to "make myself relax". I just accepted whatever I was feeling, and finally after a few weeks of working with this, I finally corralled my mind into a path of letting go.

While I was on the plane I listened to meditation CD's. I purposed in my mind that I would treat myself to a time of meditation, however NOT using this meditation time to push the emotion away, but a time that I was *setting aside* in learning more about being in the present and allowing myself to flow with life instead of trying to resist against it. (Does that make any sense to you? I am rushing against a computer laptop battery that is draining fast so I am not selecting the best words that I might use.

Got to go... got the warning sign...

To be continued.

In Reply to: Anna..... (m) posted by Debbie IN California on July 29, 2009 at 18:59:10:

Actually I pretty much said everything that I needed to say without going into a long, drawn out lecture.

By preparing yourself mentally *beforehand* you are desensitizing yourself. "Be with the emotion... make friends with whatever you are feeling, and don't allow *mind* to drift to the "what if's".

When I think back on that flight... I actually realize what an accomplishment I made, and the memories are good.

In a few weeks I will be traveling over ocean water for several hours... this is a new adventure for me since the flare up of panic attacks. When we went to The Dominican Republic last Christmas and New Years it was a LONG flight, but not masses and masses of water. I have already started my practice with this upcoming flight.

You CAN do it... : )
I believe in YOU.

In Reply to: Fear of flying posted by Anna Banana on July 22, 2009 at 10:23:56:

Hey Anna,
It's Meg.
I took a flight last year...and it had been years...it is one of my biggest fears. There were a few things i did to prepare.
I want to write to you about it at length, but I am playing with cassius and his new crayons.

I will write tomorrow when I have more time.
This is a biggie and I know you will be seeing the green of Ireland in Sept:)

In Reply to: Fear of flying posted by Anna Banana on July 22, 2009 at 10:23:56:

Wish I had a real positive situation to tell-- or even some words of wisdom BUT=== I am putting off a nice trip to Hawaii because of FLYING!!!!!!!!! I can pass along all the things other friends have said to me====but due to wasting my time and yours I will save them====sure you have heard all of them also!!!

Guess you can do as I am doing===== keep putting it off and miss out on a wonderful time and a wonderful memory to have when we are too old to go !!! LOL

KEEP ON KEEPIN ON!!!! Hope you post later in Sept. about your wonderful safe trip!!!!!!

In Reply to: Re: Fear of flying posted by Joyce on July 24, 2009 at 13:12:55:

(no text)

In Reply to: Joyce.... Scott and I are taking our two grandkids to Hawaii in August. Come with us. - I am going to do a different type of flying. ZIP-lining down a mountain in Hawaii. : O (n/t) posted by Debbie IN California on July 29, 2009 at 18:39:15:

(no text)

In Reply to: Fear of flying posted by Anna Banana on July 22, 2009 at 10:23:56:

you're not alone!
I worked on myself for years to overcome my fear of flying and now all I seem to hear these days are news reports of those planes crashing too :(
It seems a lot of Quantas planes in OZ are having one problem or another and are having to turn back after hitting bad turbulance or something falling off etc etc....I mean we never used to hear about it until the last couple of years and everytime I see a negative news report I think how the heck am I gonna get on one of those things to get to the mainland to see my friends/family? Going by ship is out of the question at present it gets even more complicated.

So that's something I'm working on right now. I was planning to fly over this year and have cancelled the trips because of a physical problem and was relieved I had a "valid" excuse.

BUT.... I really do want to fly....John and I are planning to spend Christmas with Cora in New Zealand next year and that means flying. I figured if Cora can go through all the surgery and chemo with not one complaint then I'm sure as heck getting on that plane!We also want to go on a cruise through Europe and that means flying halfway across the world to get on the cruise boat. (now THAT's going to be a biggy for me!). But I'll work on that one when the time comes lol

So I keep telling myself that I'm going to get back on a plane again....I don't want to look back one day and regret not doing it. I try and not think of what "might" happen. I mean...there's more chance of me walking out on the road in front of a logging truck than being in a plane if it ditches.
But I think and obsess too much...so when those thoughts start creeping in I tell myself I don't want to go through the rest of my life missing out on life.

I hope you have a wonderfull trip...why not get lots of tour catalogues and start making out a fun itinery for you both.... that's what I'm doing right now and it sure helps crowd out those "what-iffs"

Hugs Kerry :)