Posted by Kate_1 on May 11, 2007 at 10:06:55:

Dudes,

It went well. For the newbies; I do CBT therapy on Thursdays. Desensitizations with the therapist in the car. And for some insane reason, I come on here and share!

Before the outing: Don't you find it suspicious that my body gives me the signal it might be ill just before I hit the road?? Hmm. And this EVERYTIME. Hmm. Well glory be folks, I think I may be suffering from anticipatory anxiety - either that or I actually do have a brain tumour that shows up only on Thursdays - it's a medical mystery I tell you. I'll google it.

For those who do not know me - reread that paragraph with an ironic tone eh?

During: Her car, she drove. Oops. New car, new scenario and I am not controlling the scene. Well doesn't she know how to get my goat. Frigsakes. We travelled to my lovely bookstore. She dropped me off and left, as we had agreed. Yikes, trigger some issues right there. Her car wasn't too far away, but I didn't know where she'd be. We met up after 45 minutes. I was a bit wobbly. I kept having to come back to the initial drop off, look at her car, then walk back. My mind kept sending dramatic thoughts; "She LEFT me here" "I am alone in the world" "What if..." Grrr. I so wanted to shout out "get a grip" but then why get angry with my own self?

After we met up. We evaluated my angst, and I wasn't too bad. So she asked if I wanted to see if we could find that sushi place. You see, therapists actually pay attention - she took note of the fact I'd been trying to meet up with my friend Danny Boy but wasn't familiar how to get there so it's always put on the back burner. Ah ha! So off we go, several exits, loop de loop arounds, up and down highways, she asked if I was lost, I said no. Which surprised both of us! I told her if she has an agoraphobic in her car, that person knows how to get out and QUICKLY.

Side note; We anxious people always know how to get the hell outta Dodge and fast - so why do we fear feeling trapped so much? Good question huh, I don't have the answer, but I am realizing that I knew exactly how to get out of where we were, and she didn't.

Back to story...We found the sushi place, then took a new route back home and I talked a lot about my fears and childhood.

A lot of bang for the buck eh?

Anywho. My lesson for this go 'round is, you bet I knew how to turn 'round and go the right direction on the highway - so this soothed my fear of getting lost. Also I learned that the new method of CBT is not distracting one's self from anxious thoughts. Distractions work certainly, but they also keep the fears at bay just on the outter limit when one ought to choose to face the fear based thoughts head on with realistic thoughts. And that, every single time.

Such as this - "Oh, I am starting to sweat" A very mild reaction, I would normally try some backwards counting, knit, or what not to "get rid of" those thoughts. But now, she is training me to go with "So sweat then, there is nothing dangerous about sweating, I can sweat and still be a passenger in this car..." Of course I conter with BUT IT WILL LEAD TO PANIC!! Her answer..."Most probably, but that too isn't dangerous nor will it kill you"

Thought I'd share.

So it went well. I am tired today, but a good tired. I am have not integrated all this yet, but I am plugging away at it, and will not quit.

Have a great day everyone.

• Chiming in a little late 16:45:44 05/16/2007 SarahS (0)
• Re: Therapy Thursday, part...oh who knows for pete's sake... 08:32:45 05/14/2007 Debra (1)
  • Hi Debra 12:40:56 05/14/2007 Kate_1 (0)
• Re: Therapy Thursday, part...oh who knows for pete's sake... 03:27:17 05/12/2007 Anna Banana (2)
  • Hey there Mrs Banana! 12:43:53 05/14/2007 Kate_1 (1)
    • Re: Hey there Mrs Banana! 14:45:10 05/14/2007 Anna Banana (0)
• I'm happy for you Kate, :) You did great and well, that's a big thing! :) (n/t) 00:11:39 05/12/2007 Vita Luna (1)
  • Thanks babe. I am happy I can hold your hand throughout it Madame Croissant. Any autoroutes where you live? :):) (n/t) 12:44:51 05/14/2007 Kate_1 (0)
• Awesome Kate! 20:58:26 05/11/2007 SarahW (2)
  • LOL! Not sure if I'm courageous enough to try that yet, but I will think of it and my laughter may diffuse my angst huh? :) Thanks for your comments. (n/t) 12:46:04 05/14/2007 Kate_1 (1)
    • In all seriousness.... 18:34:34 05/14/2007 SarahW (0)
• You Have the Perfect Attitude for Success, Way to Go! (n/t) 20:40:56 05/11/2007 Judy (1)
  • Aww shucks Agent 64, thank you for your support in my outcomes, no matter what they be. Hugs. (n/t) 12:47:15 05/14/2007 Kate_1 (0)
• yep yep yep!! (n/t) 15:22:00 05/11/2007 NavajoQT (1)
  • Thanks Tina. High Five! (n/t) 12:47:44 05/14/2007 Kate_1 (0)

Posted by SarahS on May 16, 2007 at 16:45:44:

In Reply to: Therapy Thursday, part...oh who knows for pete's sake... posted by Kate_1 on May 11, 2007 at 10:06:55:

Hey Kate,

I never have much time to respond to your Therapy Thursday posts, but I love them! One thing I've noticed in each one that I can relate to SO MUCH is the physical symptoms you get BEFORE the sessions. This happens to me all the time--soon as I'm anxious about something, I feel physically awful and really have myself convinced that I'm sick (in the body, not the head--ha ha). Then, as soon as whatever I'm worried about passes or ends, I'm suddenly cured.

What do you do to deal with those symptoms? Sometimes I can just sorta work through them, but other times I feel really paralyzed by them and I sort of "give in". Then I feel like a schmo (huh?) for listening to them.

I know lots of us anxious folks are hyper sensitive to body sensations, but I just don't know how to make them stop.

Anyway, good luck tomorrow, and looking forward to hearing about your next adventure.

Posted by Debra on May 14, 2007 at 08:32:45:

In Reply to: Therapy Thursday, part...oh who knows for pete's sake... posted by Kate_1 on May 11, 2007 at 10:06:55:

It sounds like you are doing good, Kate! How long have you been in this therapy? I think I have the same fear, of being abandoned. What does your therapist have to say about that?

Posted by Kate_1 on May 14, 2007 at 12:40:56:

In Reply to: Re: Therapy Thursday, part...oh who knows for pete's sake... posted by Debra on May 14, 2007 at 08:32:45:

Thanks for your comment.

To answer your questions; I've been in CBT therapy for a month now - about. And concerning abandonment issues, we don't "do" therapy on my emotions or what not. It is cognitivive behaviour therapy to get rid of my fear plateau I find myself in at the moment. As to what causes those issues in me? Well, I'll keep that info for myself for the moment.

And how are you dong with things?

Posted by Anna Banana on May 12, 2007 at 03:27:17:

In Reply to: Therapy Thursday, part...oh who knows for pete's sake... posted by Kate_1 on May 11, 2007 at 10:06:55:

Sounds like you're doing great :-) It also sounds like your therapist is a very good one! I agree with that about accepting panic instead of being distracted from it. I think I learned that from Claire Weekes book. I used to imagine a door in my chest, and when panic came, I thought "ok, come, come" and I would imagine it entering my body, and then leaving too, cos the door was open on the back too (does this make any sense?). Well, it did help me.

Anyway, you're doing great, and you are to be proud about it! :-)

Posted by Kate_1 on May 14, 2007 at 12:43:53:

In Reply to: Re: Therapy Thursday, part...oh who knows for pete's sake... posted by Anna Banana on May 12, 2007 at 03:27:17:

Ooh, I like that imagery with the open door for the panic to come and most importantly to LEAVE. In your chest huh? I think I'll put mine in my abdomen. That is where I feel my anxiety the most.

Thank you for your comments Anna. How is the work going? Any better with the anxiety? Don't forget to have after work activities to relax.

Hugs,
Kate

Posted by Anna Banana on May 14, 2007 at 14:45:10:

In Reply to: Hey there Mrs Banana! posted by Kate_1 on May 14, 2007 at 12:43:53:

Work's been fine today, and I'm feeling fine, despite having done nothing after work. The only side effects are the nursery rhymes that sound in my head all the time, with squirrels and rabbits and little snails that say hello to the little sunny sun, lol

But today, before going, I've got soooo nervous, anticipating an afternoon of cries and yells, that once there I've felt really dizzy. I thought I would have to ask for help, I've felt near fainting. But then it's just passed and I've felt fine. Anxiety, I guess.

I hope the door in your abdomen helps :-)

Posted by Vita Luna on May 12, 2007 at 00:11:39:

In Reply to: Therapy Thursday, part...oh who knows for pete's sake... posted by Kate_1 on May 11, 2007 at 10:06:55:

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Posted by Kate_1 on May 14, 2007 at 12:44:51:

In Reply to: I'm happy for you Kate, :) You did great and well, that's a big thing! :) (n/t) posted by Vita Luna on May 12, 2007 at 00:11:39:

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Posted by SarahW on May 11, 2007 at 20:58:26:

In Reply to: Therapy Thursday, part...oh who knows for pete's sake... posted by Kate_1 on May 11, 2007 at 10:06:55:

And remember...if you feel your heart racing, just bare down. Don't forget your diaper.

Posted by Kate_1 on May 14, 2007 at 12:46:04:

In Reply to: Awesome Kate! posted by SarahW on May 11, 2007 at 20:58:26:

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Posted by SarahW on May 14, 2007 at 18:34:34:

In Reply to: LOL! Not sure if I'm courageous enough to try that yet, but I will think of it and my laughter may diffuse my angst huh? :) Thanks for your comments. (n/t) posted by Kate_1 on May 14, 2007 at 12:46:04:

If you're the type of anxiety sufferer who tends to panic more because of panic symptoms (like racing heart)...hold your breath and feel your pulse...it will slow. Plus, you'll be concentrating on what you're trying to do...you're mind won't be aiming on the fear of where you are. I hope that made sense. I'm a little brain fried today. It takes some practice...but it works. It gives you control of your panic. If you can slow your symptoms, then you know you're not dying of them. You know? I dunno either. Its finals week...I am taking a break from writing a very very long Political Science paper.

Posted by Judy on May 11, 2007 at 20:40:56:

In Reply to: Therapy Thursday, part...oh who knows for pete's sake... posted by Kate_1 on May 11, 2007 at 10:06:55:

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Posted by Kate_1 on May 14, 2007 at 12:47:15:

In Reply to: You Have the Perfect Attitude for Success, Way to Go! (n/t) posted by Judy on May 11, 2007 at 20:40:56:

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Posted by NavajoQT on May 11, 2007 at 15:22:00:

In Reply to: Therapy Thursday, part...oh who knows for pete's sake... posted by Kate_1 on May 11, 2007 at 10:06:55:

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Posted by Kate_1 on May 14, 2007 at 12:47:44:

In Reply to: yep yep yep!! (n/t) posted by NavajoQT on May 11, 2007 at 15:22:00:

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